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The Great Crxllpfghhk
"E pluribus eunuch"
Recent Entries 
1st-Jun-2013 01:44 pm - i really like your actions and words
because the true self is impossible to perceive, right? right?

if it even exists?

too long; don't read; fuck youCollapse )
1st-May-2013 11:04 pm(no subject)

also: Building A Human
9th-Apr-2013 11:02 pm - eyes glaze over.
eyes turn inward
HELP YOURSELF
help your soul to another helping
WE ARE HERE TO CONSUME EACH OTHER ALIVE
the right conditions for a chain reaction
YOU ARE NOT THE FOOD I EAT
another zombie is born
EYES UNMET. EYES TURN AWAY.
ear consumed with its wax
FRIDGE BUZZ. YOU GO NOW.
culture is a game of telephone
HEROES LIFTED ON DEAF SHOULDERS
take a walk to clear your head
FEAR ALL SILENCE
it's only when you're alone that you
UNMOVED THE SHARK DIES
find out who you truly are
YOU NEVER EXISTED

you exist.

YOU DON'T
6th-Apr-2013 10:12 pm - nerve mirror
I've been working on these songs for some time now. A few of them are based on stuff I've written here.

No frills, just piano and vocals, straight from the recorder. Eventually I'd like to produce full arrangements, but for the past few months I've focused on improving my playing and singing. I'll upload new takes to replace the existing ones if I feel they're an improvement.

20th-Mar-2013 07:10 pm(no subject)

via Off The Air, which is mindblowing.
11th-Feb-2013 02:14 am - order
the golden rule hasn't failed me yet!

i am a terrible person
i am a horrible person
i am a wonderful person.

the golden rule has betrayed me for the last time!
11th-Feb-2013 02:10 am - I am a wonderful person.
led by hose down the garden path
to the place where spirits meet
to blow out their party favors
under a shattered disco ball

the seal, the coyote, the eagle, the snake
encircle their honored guest
and make him a home

c'mere

no need to fill the silence
if all silence goes unheard

come here.

immobile.
peering out between rungs
hung from a hook.
no begging. no reaching out.
eyes on fingertips. fingers up larynx.
all circles drawn shut.

come. here.

escapee undone by escape
unravelled noodle yarn tangle exploded buck-shot marble polka-dot silhouette target
staring itself unready through trepanned sockets


no swung pendulum
ever touched the hand that let it go.
11th-Feb-2013 01:04 am - i am a horrible person
when the seals finally give way
they won't hold anything back.
overflow of defeated purpose
drains from a translucent shell

shards of mirror in a mobile
hung from the high ceiling
cast their cluttered light around
hunting for pupil.

hole in brick wall
shape of cartoon character
sucking on teat
clawing for more

maybe you'll get out of this alive
or maybe not
2nd-Feb-2013 01:20 am - i am a terrible person
the ladder is infinite.
the ladder is too short.
one foot planted on the head beneath me.
it is my head. it is my foot.

you don't have to put up with that.

the garden hose snake
cool against your inflamed ankles
gently tugs you back to its crank.

you don't need to put up with that!

the shawm driven in
between every pair of lips
that part to speak.

you should never put up with that.

self-pity searches for a host
like a narcissist without a reflection-

don't let it smother you under its wing.

my spirit would soar if there were a self to part with
then-
it would never need put up with anything.
20th-Nov-2012 01:44 am - personal ad
I am looking for someone who wants as badly as I do to see through another person's eyes and to feel the fine-grained texture of their thoughts and emotions, and who is eager to do the tremendous amount of conversational work necessary to explore how far this is possible given the extreme limits inherent in language (not to mention the human lifespan). It can't be merely a passing interest. It should be an all-consuming desire, an endless obsession. I don't expect you to quit your job for this, but I do expect it to be more important than any other activity not directly related to your survival. It has to be something you've thought about nearly every day for years, if not your entire life. That's how important it is to me.

The less we have in common (and I anticipate that we may likely have very little in common besides this) the more effort will be necessary to establish the conceptual baseline for this ongoing conversation. Most important will be a process of carefully defining, restating, or removing preexisting cultural values and assumptions - even shared ones. But this process alone (if you are the one I'm looking for) would be so engaging as to be fun - even joyous - rather than merely a grinding preliminary.

Of course, an insatiable, inexhaustible appetite for deep conversation is necessary, as well as a willingness to be totally honest and unreserved. It may take time to reach the necessary level of trust, but if the desire is there, I believe the trust will follow.

I don't know if you exist. But given the number of people on this planet, it's hard to believe that I'm the only one who wants this as badly as I do. Once again, mere curiosity need not apply - this would be a defining part of your identity. In other words, you shouldn't have to ask yourself, "Could this be me?" You would know it without a doubt.

What I'm talking about may be entirely containable within the umbrella of philosophy - or some combination of philosophy, psychology, and sociology - but it shouldn't be necessary for either one of us to be well-versed in any of these fields. If you are, it shouldn't be a pre-requisite for me to be aware of terminology or references you might employ. Either you would have the patience to teach me - and would enjoy doing so - or you would be inventive enough to find other ways of communicating. I shouldn't need to complete a reading list or have a degree before starting these talks with you. If anything, I consider over-reliance on pre-existing schools of thought and esoteric jargon to be a weakness. We need to be inventing a new philosophy, a new terminology, rather than relying on the inadequate ones of the past.
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